Hello world!

Pretentious, insufferable prick that I am, I decided the world and the interwebs alike were in dire need of my “creative” excretions. So, have at you world!

Some of the stories here may be connected to each other, others may not. I will only make mention of the connection if it serves the purpose of the story arch itself. I’m a bastard like that.

To any would-be plagiarists, I will hunt you down and murder your family and pets before you, then keep you as a slave in my basement where I will submit you to tortures including – but not limited to – repeatedly listening to the most overplayed pop-song at that particular time, watching endless replays of E.T. for the Atari 2600 and being made to wear shoes full of sand while having no socks on.

If you like what you read here – assuming it is legible at all -, kindly let me know!